


Fast-forward to Rewind

by ninanna



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-21
Updated: 2014-06-23
Packaged: 2018-02-05 13:53:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 21,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1820707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninanna/pseuds/ninanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aomine finds himself attending to the same university with Kise and unresolved feelings start to unfold themselves in spectacularly clumsy and understandably timid ways. This is about how to move forward as much as it is about how to move back and understand the past; for the past repeats itself if not properly deciphered and unravelled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The most ridiculous fan fiction name ever because I am absolutely talentless at naming things. I actually initially started writing this for the "same school" theme of Aokiseweek, but guess who cannot write anything properly briefly; so it turned too long to be a oneshot and I lost my direction, clueless about where I was heading with it... So I took a break. I took such a break that when I turned back to it yesterday, I thought, "I am never ending or posting this." However, this ugly child of mine found a way to endear itself to me and gave me various ideas I just had to write. So here it is, I hope it is at least readable.
> 
> This will be a two-shot and I am sincerely sorry for ending it on a rather sad note for this first chapter (oops, was that a spoiler?) but do not worry, I am aware of the angst-ridden nature of the fan fiction for this lovely duo and am definitely not planning to add yet another one onto that pile (now this is definitely a spoiler).
> 
> Also, is there any possibility of Aomine Daiki seeing the Year of Dragon J's and not thinking of Kise Ryouta? Absolutely not, in my humble opinion. (Does this count as a spoiler too?)

They had not talked much in the last months of high school, partially because basketball had both surprisingly and unsurprisingly taken the back seat in their lives and partially because they had simply been too busy studying than to think of anything or anyone else.

Still Momoi should have known well that Kise had also made it in Nippon Sport Science University, yet she had not revealed this key piece of information to him, ever. It was frustrating as hell to know that, as Aomine sat next to Kise listening to the first university lecture of his life. It was utterly bewildering to meet the blond at the lobby of the building about fifteen minutes ago as he was angrily searching for the lecture hall. A small crowd of giggling girls distracted him and when he looked over he came eye to eye with his former teammate and rival. Golden orbs widened with surprise but nowhere equal his, which definitely meant that Momoi had told Kise about his own plans. So why not other way around?

They struck a quick conversation and Kise mentioned how surprised he was at Aomine being actually on time and in response Aomine admitted that he had promised Momoi to not be late to any of his lectures the first day, or there were repercussions. This was the first time the duo separated in their educational lives and Momoi seemed to be the one hit hardest with it, so Aomine entertained her. At least for the day. Kise had smiled gently then, he probably saw through Aomine's own insecurities and anxiety at the separation, this apparent insight made Aomine even more nervous. God, he hated how observant the blond could be regarding the emotions of those around him.

Fast forward to fifteen minutes later and here they were, sitting next to each other and actually listening to a lecture.

Four years.

For four years, Aomine would be in this school, attend more or less the same courses with Kise considering their similar majors, become part of the same basketball team. It was vexing even though they had once been school mates, teammates, friends... and maybe, maybe something more?

He still remembered all the tiny details of his first kiss stolen by the blond pretty boy, under the moonlight in the middle of a desolate park on their way back home after many hours of post-practice one-on-ones that had continued well into the night. They had talked about first kisses earlier that day at lunch, Aomine was not sure who had brought the topic up in the first place, regardless Kise's confession that he had never kissed anyone had piqued his interest and provoked his curiosity; he had always thought the blond would be a player, having girls crowd around him all the time. Aomine for his part was equally virgin but had lied through his teeth despite the angry and knowing stare of Momoi and was just thankful that she had not revealed how full of shit he was. The point: Kise had believed him and then pestered him on the way home and at one point as they argued, their bodies moved closer to each other than they should normally and the moment Aomine felt the warm breath on his face and just how large those mesmerising golden orbs were, just how plump and pink Kise's lips were, just how flawless his skin was under the moonshine... There had been many moments that led to that moment, stolen glances, awkward touches, weird dreams... Somehow all those had converged and birthed that single moment of wonder and attraction, of Aomine's arm moving in an instant and holding Kise, of eyes widening in surprise and expectation, of the pure absence of rejection on Kise's part and pure presence of impulsive determination on Aomine's, of a kiss so childishly naïve, so sweetly chaste that it only hurt Aomine to remember now.

It hurt beautifully though.

Kise had not run away afterwards nor had he himself. They had stood there in awe, staring each other's eyes in perfect silence as though such waiting would lead to a wondrous miracle. Perhaps it did, Aomine had to admit, what he felt then and there had been wondrous. Miraculous. After some awkward chuckling and dismissing words they had moved along and walked home together like they always did. The matter of the kiss was never brought up again and though the yearning looks and anxious touches happened, they never culminated in anything afterwards... Later they became separated in more ways than one and even after when they more or less reconciled in high school, even after when Aomine admitted to himself at least internally that he was obviously bisexual, even after when Kise confessed to all their friends that he was gay, even after when they started playing one-on-ones again now and then, even after that fateful day near the end of their second year when Kise finally defeated him in an official game... They never spoke of it again.

One would assume the elephant would grow too huge over time due to such deliberate ignorance but even if it did, perhaps neither recognised?

Aomine pondered absent-mindedly all these and much more, he did not even realise when the lecture was over but he felt a peculiar tingling when Kise elbowed him softly.

“I cannot believe you were daydreaming Aominecchi.”

“I was not daydreaming.”

“Was it that boring? I actually found this class interesting. The curriculum looks promising too.”

As he looked at the pursed lips and furrowed eyebrows, face of someone heavily concentrated on something, a face he found beautiful just like the first time he had seen it years ago, Aomine mumbled,

“It is not that boring... It's okay... I guess.”

 

* * *

 

On their first day at basketball club both were directly allowed to the first string which seemed to annoy others in the team. A particularly insolent one amongst them had actually the nerve to whisper in a voice that was loud enough for all to hear:

“Aomine Daiki, fine, but even the Anna Kournikova of basketball? He is just a pretty boy copycat.”

Aomine was stuck between just snorting at the comment or punching the speaker's face in. Kise gave the side glance and Aomine swallowed; everyone knew the 'side glance'. The devilish one that promised wicked play and sheer strength, the darker boy himself had been the target of the glance many times, especially when he angered Kise who was normally not easy to embitter. Aomine liked the glance by the way; both due to what it promised on the court and also for its outright magnetism. Not that he ever admitted to it.

“Why don't you play a one-on-one with this Anna Kournikova of basketball and if you can even score at all before I score ten, I'll hand my position to you?”

While Aomine smirked at the defiant arrogance of the statement, the coach was reluctant to let the charade occur, both parties were insistent though so she let it go at the end.

Then in a whirlwind of mere minutes, Kise Ryouta utterly destroyed his opponent, not allowing him a single chance at shooting, easily stealing the ball whenever the other acquired it, scoring smoothly and deliberately in fascinating ways just to stun the audience. After he scored his last point and his opponent simply lay on the ground, breathing hard and drenched in sweat due to the sheer pressure and fast-pace of the brief game, the blond hovered over and smiled at his opponent. It was not boastful, it was not arrogant, it looked innocent and nonchalant. He gave a hand and helped his teammate up then spoke to him in a clear voice devoid of any rage but perfect resolution and characteristic cheer,

“You are right though, I am actually just a pretty boy copycat. A damned good one!”

He chuckled then giving a glance at his perplexed audience, bar one tall brown boy.

“Show-off.” Aomine said in an amused tone,

“Ow! But Aominecchi, I am in the showbiz after all!” the blond responded before turning to their coach,

“Coach, can I and Aominecchi use the gym after club practices? You see we like playing one-on-ones together.”

“No, I don't.”

“Aominecchi! Yes, you do! You have to from now on.”

“I don't have to.”

“Lazy bum!”

And Aomine thought that the ridiculous pout Kise had never grown too old to don was endearing in its own quirky, cute way.

 

* * *

 

Basketball practices were more enjoyable if you had somebody who could actually take you on, Aomine re-learnt. After three years spent in Touou, though he liked the school and its team more than he ever admitted, he still had missed being able to practise against someone who could stand their ground against him.

It always made it even more intriguing whenever that person was Kise. You see, it was dandy that Akashi could stand against him but then Akashi was as perfect as human species could ever achieve to be and it was a known from the get go, it was not surprising, the gameplay was predetermined and thus... not so thrilling? Kagami was pretty good at riling him up and proved to be a sheer pleasure to play against; but he was not as interesting without Kuroko and extremely unreliable in performance, sometimes stunning, sometimes shitty, and also he had always been unrelated to Aomine. Sure there was the rivalry on the court but they did not share any link beyond the court other than their mutual love for basketball and fondness of Kuroko. Kise was different though. Because Aomine had been the one to introduce basketball to Kise, unknowingly etched the love for the game in his heart, amusedly riled him up for years and in his own way trained him (because Aomine did not know any other way to train someone but to actually play against them). It is always a peculiar race the one where the apprentice faces the master, where the admirer faces the idol. It was complicated as hell, both inside their minds and outside on the court, and somehow that thrilled Aomine.

Nevertheless, he did not entertain Kise's requests for one-on-ones as frequently as he did back in middle school nor did Kise request them as often. They still did it at least once a week though and whenever they did, it continued for hours, leaving them in a hot and sweaty mess afterwards, and soon the awkward touches started again, a brush of an elbow, a ruffle of the hair, a palm that lingers a little too long, an accidental grip that is just a tad bit too strong, unconscious leans and bumps... However, neither reacted with the urgency and anxiety they had back in the middle school, they were often indifferent in appearance and if one ever reacted in any visible way it was limited to a knowing gaze. A secret unspoken but realised, well-kept, and at times acknowledged by both.

Up-close and personal, the blond's figure had changed; during high school they only saw each other if they had a game together, or those very rare times when most of the Teikou gang gathered together for some reason, often at Kuroko's initiative. The close proximity they shared in the middle school that was lost had allowed him to overlook certain facts which became more apparent now that they spent at least half their day together every day.

Kise had grown visibly taller though a small height difference of about three centimetres was maintained; Aomine liked this for it allowed just enough difference for him to tease the blond but also enough parity to be face to face at all times. His features were as pretty as they have ever been, but they had matured compared to their middle school days; a face much more well-defined, a chin that was a bit more angular, eyes that sparked not with childish naiveté but charisma of an adult... He looked as youthful and soft and pretty as ever but not childish. His body had been the most to mature, as they walked around half naked in the changing room or ran into each other in the showers, as the blond sometimes lifted his t-shirt to swipe off his sweat during practices only to reveal his bare navel, Aomine found his eyes to wander... It was not that he did not know he could desire men, he had learnt it long ago and went through the internal panic it induced long ago; it was that how he was particularly picky about men and they rarely piqued his interest so spectacularly. Kise managed to be the exception though and Aomine felt the clutches of reborn desires on his abdomen...

It was almost on a whim when one night as they walked away from campus wrapped in darkness of the night with only moonlight and the lacking campus lighting, only a dim visual awareness provided and campus eerily silent as it often would be during those hours except the crickets' sound... Aomine felt the urge. It was not necessarily sexual but it was not necessarily non-sexual either; it was a mix of both. Perhaps it was the way Kise's hair smelt so lovely after the shower he had taken, perhaps it was how he hummed to the same stupid song he has hummed since middle school, perhaps it was how under the moonlight the blond's face shone alluringly, perhaps it was how their shoulders brushed now and then as they walked side by side and each of these accidental touches left a hot spot on his body... Whatever was the reason, his body moved closer to his side, their arms in continuous contact, and his pace slowed down to a halt soon and Kise stopped as well, turning to face his friend. There was curiosity on his face as well as reluctance and they stood there, Aomine took a step closer, their faces only inches apart and the blond did not run away, did not push him but did one thing that perhaps explained the most: he smiled. A smile that completely lacked any cheer or joy. It was sad and broken and bitter and there was only compassion and almost pity in his eyes, Aomine struggled with the implications and willed his eyes to continue staring, not blinking once, just to ensure what he was seeing was accurate.

It was accurate and even preciser than he would like. So he gulped on his spit and simultaneously Kise turned away and started walking again, each step almost dreadful and very slow, Aomine caught up in no time once he returned back to his senses and decided to not dabble in digging the matter further up for the night. As their pace stabilised again and a few minutes of awkward silence passed, Kise started talking about his boyfriend. He was mumbling and an apparent hesitation tinted all his words but he continued to talk of random things, mundane things, unnecessary things about his boyfriend and their relationship. Aomine knew Kise was gay, everybody in their Teikou group did and despite his normally overtly friendly and seemingly too honest ways, Kise rarely gave his secrets away and was very protective of his private life; you did not hear him talk about his lovers at all, though Aomine was certain the blond spilled the beans to Momoi, she always seemed closer to him in matters of heart and this irritated the ace a little if he had to admit.

He did not say anything in return and just nodded here and then and snorted here and there and by the time they were at the gates of the campus and it was time to go their own separate ways, Aomine did not say anything about the awkward pause and unexpectedly intimate moment they had had. Kise did not either.

A couple of seconds after they turned their backs to each other and started pacing on their own directions, the blond towards his apartment, Aomine towards the bus stop, he turned his head to steal a glance at Kise. The sight of his wide shoulders and back, him moving away in sluggish steps somehow prickled Aomine's heart and his palm caressed his own chest. As if a heart's aching out of yearning and loss could ever be rid with a massage...

 

* * *

 

The petite and busty brunette who had been adamantly following him everywhere in campus received a text message a few days after Aomine's failed attempt at kissing Kise. They went out the same weekend, the date was bland and uninteresting, the sex that followed was all right but somehow deeply unsatisfying. His muscles tingled with pleasure and he trembled with climax yet something felt missing and he found his mind fly away to the idea of just how would it feel to experience such moments of pleasure with Kise. Somewhat frightening and personally scandalous wet dreams of the blond from when they were middle school teammates came to his mind, very rarely he had ever pondered about the matter in high school. But here he was, drenched in sweat and saliva of another, a woman who curled up next to him naked and breathing hard and heavy, his own chest continued rising up and down as the legacy of excitement still rode his body well... and his mind was completely focused on how would it feel to have Kise curled up like that near him, how would it feel to have his hands which were much larger than this girl's on his torso, how would it feel to feel the brushing of his muscular legs to his own, how would it feel to listen to him breathing hot and heavy...

About ten minutes later when she asked about meeting sometime next week, Aomine bluntly admitted that he did not plan on seeing her again.

She threw a pillow on his face and by the time he was out of the shower she was gone, which only relieved him as guilt settled in his stomach heavy and cold. Momoi would be mad at this, just how much of a jerk he could be at times. She would also be compassionate, like a mother is towards her unruly and stupid son.

That night he went to her place instead of his own home, a desperate need for company had appeared in him (this was extremely rare) and the idea of his perpetually empty and lonely apartment felt vexing. As he lay lazily on her bed that smelled like the pomegranate citrus shower gel she adored and he secretly found nice, he mumbled idly,

“You remember how I once said that I might be into boys too?”

“Yeah...” she was still working at her desk, something about a report on Corporate Law, and her voice was a little absent-minded,

“I think I might... like Kise... Like that.”

The little sounds her fast moving pen made stopped and she turned on her chair towards him,

“You do?”

“Yeah, I think so...”

“I see...”

“You see? That's it?”

“Was I supposed to be surprised?”

“I thought you would be...”

“Well, you've always treated him a little differently you know... You pick on him more yet at the same time you are unnecessarily overprotective when it comes to him. Considering how immature you are at dealing with your feelings, those mean a lot... So since the time you told me you might be into boys too, I kind of thought you had feelings for him.”

“Are you for real? Jeez... You're irritating.” Aomine buried his face to the pillow, it smelt even more intensely of Momoi, he did not mind it; if anything Momoi always made him feel at home, at peace.

“So?”

“So?”

“Why are you telling me this now? Something happened right?”

“Kind of. Or rather, something could happen but did not happen.”

“What was it?”

“Ugh do I have to tell?”

“I mean you started talking about it...”

“Fine... I almost kissed him.”

“Almost? He rejected you?”

“Not really... He just stood there and looked at me.”

“And you didn't go along with it? Wow. I mean, that's a good step for you considering how impulsive you can be normally. I am a little proud actually.”

“He just looked... so sad. It was as if he would let me kiss him but it would truly hurt him. So I couldn't bring myself to do it.”

“But why would it hurt him if he did not refuse you? Don't tell me something else happened before? Tell me you didn't do something mean Dai-chan...”

“I did not... Kind of.”

“Kind of?”

“Argh... We kissed once. In middle school.”

“What?!” and Momoi dropped her metal pen to the desk out of awe, the sound and her bewilderment only further flustered Aomine who dug deeper into the pillow with his face. His voice was thoroughly muffled,

“Yeah...”

“When did this happen? Oh God... there was that one time you guys started acting even more awkward than ever and then... Like after the festival?”

“Yeah...”

“I cannot believe you!”

“It was consensual and mutual!” Aomine popped his head up and he was visibly irked at the possibility that Momoi could ever think otherwise. She looked concerned but compassionate,

“It is about that and more though. You are not vile to force someone, thank God, but you are still pretty insensitive. What happened after you guys kissed?”

“Nothing... We just never talked about it again. I don't know. I freaked out, okay? I mean I liked girls... I like women. It wasn't very easy. Plus he was shy too. I don't know... then the things with basketball happened anyway and everything went downhill... Argh.”

He buried his face to the pillow again and while his sight was blinded he was able to hear the noise of the chair moving and Momoi's soft steps, the bed slightly moved under a new weight added on top of it and he felt thin, small fingers comb his short hair gently.

“Do you really like him?”

“I guess I do... Shit... I've been thinking about him a lot more than I'd like these days. Going to the same uni just screwed everything up...”

“I see... Have you tried talking to him about it?”

“I don't know... How do you even talk these things?! And fuck after the incident with almost-kiss, you know what he did? That little shit started going on and on about his 'boyfriend'... I mean he never even talks to me about his guys normally. What did it mean? 'I am taken so please stay away'? Shit.”

“He actually did that? Interesting... Ah, this is bad...”

Whenever Momoi wanted to hide something or felt herself caught in a dilemma her voice would increase in pitch; it was almost inaudible to most but not to Aomine who had known her since forever.

“What?”

“Nothing...”

“You are hiding something, just spill it.” he turned to his side, revealing half his face and glaring at her obviously hesitant face,

“Jeez... I mean Ki-chan is my friend but you... You are you, so... Guess I can't help this. I hope Ki-chan forgives me.”

“Will you just say it?”

She glared back and her lips pursed a little,

“He is actually not doing well with his boyfriend...”

“Really? He went on and on about how he liked him.”

“Well he likes him but he is terribly insecure and suspicious that he is being cheated on...”

“Are you kidding me? That jerk is cheating on him? I'll pummel that bastard.”

“Yeah, no, that really would not help and we both know you are not as violent as you speak, so please.”

“But how could he?! I mean Kise is... um... quite a good catch, you know.”

“I know! I was so mad...”

“Hmm which means you probably investigated?”

“I wanted to! But Ki-chan was adamant that I don't... He says he does not want to hear it from somewhere else or be that kind of person – doubting, stalking kind, you know... He was saying that if he cannot establish a trust then there is no reason to continue such a relationship... Hence my surprise at him talking good about the guy to you.”

“Hmm... Could it be that they resolved their shit?”

“Nah, I doubt. I just talked with him last week again and it seemed more or less the same.”

“God I can't believe... this. Ah. Shit.” Aomine buried his face again to the pillow; better Momoi to think of him being childish than actually witness his flushed cheeks.

She only giggled though,

“Why don't you just give him some time? And if it doesn't help, you can always talk with him... It would be better.”

“Fine... Whatever.”

“Just so you know, I wouldn't mind if you dated him. I think you would be a cute couple.”

Aomine turned a few inches to the side such that only half his face was revealed again, his eyebrow rose in suspicion,

“Are you kidding? What 'cute'?”

“What? You don't think you guys would be cute?”

“No way. We'd be hella sexy though.”

“Argh! I cannot with you... Really. You're such a dumbass!” She scolded and slapped his shoulder lightly in mock reprimand as she lifted herself up and walked back to her desk; her best friend's love worries were important but so were her studies as a law student.

“Hmm... Satsuki.”

“What?” she mumbled without looking at him as she read the last few lines she wrote, one of the sentences looked a little off grammatically but she was not sure exactly how she could fix it,

“You're cool, you know.”

A content smile took over her face as she set on rewriting her last paragraph, she mumbled,

“Yeah, I know. And you're welcome.”

“I didn't say thank you.”

“Yeah, I know.”

 

* * *

 

Two weeks later on a Friday, Kise not only came to school late and missed half his classes of the day, he was also lethargic and distracted throughout the practice to the point that he got lectured four times by the coach which was double his daily average. The blond did not ask for a one-on-one and was quick to hurry off to the changing room yet struggled even to get out of his sweat drenched shorts and t-shirt. It was as if his mind was elsewhere and it was a constant trial to return his conscious back to this particular reality so that he could properly will his limbs and hands to function. Aomine watched in concern but he ensured to keep his indifferent façade as much as he could. Kise sighed more than usual and neither the usual humming nor the cutesy pouts were present.

“Kise, do you have work tomorrow?”

“Nope... Why?”

“I heard the liquor store two blocks away, near the gas station does not ask for id properly if they think the person buying looks old enough.”

“So?”

“So, I think I could totally fool them.”

“You got to be kidding.”

“Why not? Plus your place is nearby and tomorrow I have nothing to do either. You know, we could buy snacks. Oh, I heard of this really good horror film too... You have Netflix right?”

“Yeah. This is kind of sudden though...”

“You don't want to?”

Kise looked at Aomine's face a little puzzled and a little curious and thought a bit, perhaps he was trying to ascertain some sort of hidden intent behind the offer, there was none except Aomine's desperation to make the other feel better in the only way he knew – being a friend. Well, a more decent friend than he usually was. The whole scenario he offered was a cheap knock off of what Momoi did for him whenever he was depressed, sans the alcohol of course; indeed, if she knew he was offering alcohol to Kise, she would kick his ass hard. He shook his shoulders nonchalantly though in reality it was a show of his determination to persuade Kise, as ironic as it sounded it was very logical,

“If you don't want to, that's fine, I was just bored.”

“Um... Actually, you know what, why not? I mean we're almost legal too so... Let's do this!”

Aomine smirked as Kise shook his head enthusiastically as if to persuade his depressed inner self to open up. It was a little amusing and a little cute.

As he expected they were able to buy beer too, it had been exhilarating for both, much more afraid of being caught as minors than they let on, and it was a miracle in itself how obnoxiously careless the store's owner was. Snacks ready and film streaming, they tasted their first alcoholic drink and immediate reaction of both was disgust. Aomine simply glared at the can and swallowed with a frustrated face, it was Kise whose face had been a true spectacle to watch: it started with curious and excited, moved on to confused and surprised then transitioned to utterly disgusted and disturbingly scandalised and ended in an enormous duck face.

“That was horrible! Yuck! I need water. Argh!”

He ran to get water whereas Aomine dared another sip as if to show Kise that he was the maturer one,

“It is not so bad,” he lied, it was evidently horrible for him as well but he had to keep up appearances, “takes some getting used to...” Or at least that was his wishful thinking. He really hoped it would be okay after some more sips because hell, he had paid some good money for the six-pack.

A bout of childish bickering and duelling later they had both emptied a can each and were already feeling a little tipsy. The film turned out to be mediocre and only mildly interesting but their intoxicated state helped them become engrossed in it better and thus turned the whole experience much more entertaining. By late night they had finished and managed to become fully drunk with two cans each and Aomine hid the left over two cans behind the fruits in the fridge, ensuring that nobody would be able to recognise them at a single glance, as though they were some legendary treasure that should not be easily discovered.

Between ramblings about the season and how they would definitely kick Kuroko and Kagami pair's ass thoroughly, even if duo was supported by that cheeky former point guard of Shuutoku now, complaints about how difficult some of their courses had become, and the busty brunette who kept coming to watch the practices only to glare at Aomine... Kise mumbled, soft and in passing, as if he was just mentioning it so that the other would note but not dwell much on it, as if it was a side note in a greater discussion and not to be paid much attention,

“He broke up with me you know...”

“Hmm... Well, his loss.”

“I was planning to but I didn't have the chance. I am such a loser.”

“I said it was his loss.”

“You're just saying that Aominecchi...”

“Nah I'm not... I mean it. Really.”

They were spent, bodies drained of any energy to even lift a finger so they looked at each other silently and in expectation but were they expecting the same things, Aomine wondered... So they looked and looked and then Kise smiled, it was small and fragile and it was the first smile he gave that whole day, at least the first sincere one, and though it was tiny and though Aomine thought it was horribly corny to be so stuck on a smile, he felt as though his heart imploded on his chest, seeing that minute smile at the tip of the blond's full lips in the dim light of the room (they had turned off the lights for the film and relied only on moonlight and TV's shining into the room for lighting).

“It is definitely his loss and my gain, damn I hope so.” Aomine thought but did not dare pronounce and then Kise's golden orbs slowly lost their glint and his blinks became slower and then his eyelids stopped opening altogether. A soft snore could be heard in the silence of the room; Aomine watched in amusement and that's how he himself felt asleep on the sofa alongside his teammate – listening to the lullaby of Kise's gentle breathing and quiet snoring.

 

* * *

 

They met so rarely during the Summer Break that it had been a real torture for Aomine; only times they saw each other were indeed the club related activities. Kise had gotten better, scoring as much as Aomine in the last official game they played. At first he panicked a little thinking that the blond was deliberately keeping some distance between them, Momoi comforted him though, turns out that Kise had fully devoted himself to work, partially to forget about his loser ex-boyfriend and partially because he had not been able to do as many jobs as he would like during the term.

It was interesting how you could spend so much time away from somebody and not feel anything but then once you've formed a special kind of attachment to them even not seeing their face could smother the happiness and peace out of your day, every day. He had never thought himself to be a particularly sentimental person or a loving one really, but then Momoi had always said that inside he must be very decent and endearing that kids and animals adored him. He never really got that logic but it assured him slightly; contrary to popular opinion, he did not regard himself to be an actual jerk and would like not to be one. He was definitely arrogant and obscenely blunt but he found those qualities logical and necessary and in his mind they did not automatically translate to being a jerk; he was not wicked, all in all, and he did not wish to be wicked.

While the moments took excruciatingly long to pass, suddenly one day he realised they were near the end of August; how did the time fly by and yet also feel painfully slow? Was this what they called relativity of time? He doubted. Regardless, the last thing he expected as he made his way home from a shopping spree with Momoi was to actually find somebody at home – both his parents were away in business trips, like usual, and for all he knew his house would be as empty and dull as ever. It turned out not to be the case at all: instead all his teammates from Teikou, a few of the guys from Touou, and a couple of his buddies from the university were there. Confetti and cake and the loud, extremely cacophonous “Happy Birthday!” shout – all the standard fare you'd see in films and TV shows. Wow, he thought, as he heard the high pitched barking, even the dog is here.

Momoi came a second later from his behind and hugged him tight (or at least as much as she could with the sheer difference in size they had), her voice sounded the sweetest to him,

“Happy Birthday Dai-chan!”

It was unnecessary and he even openly said it – “Well this was unnecessary...” – but he was eternally grateful inside as, hell, it was definitely better than spending his birthday alone at home watching anime; there was free pizza and lots of snacks, Kagami was amazingly fun to tease and rile up, and Kise was there too...

“I hope you like it.” the blond said later in the night, his face alight with enthusiasm and anxiety as he gave the small box to Aomine. They were in kitchen and alone, hour was late and half the people had already gone home, Aomine was not sure why Kise had not given his gift alongside others earlier and had initially thought Kise was not going to give one, which was odd given the blond's personality but honestly he did not care; he would not mind not receiving any present from Kise, all he wanted was his presence, really, which he thought was so goddamn uncharacteristic and mushy of him but hey, as long as nobody knew of these feelings but him, it was okay, right?

It turned out to be a watch. A silver coloured one with navy blue accents and a bit large in size like most men's watches were. Considering Aomine was chronically lazy and drastically lacked any punctuality, the gift could either be defined as a 'very good' choice or a 'very bad' choice.

“Are you trying to say something to me? You know, I've been coming on time to the practices...”

Kise snorted at that,

“You've been coming on time to the practices only half the time... But to be honest it had nothing to do with your astounding failure at punctuality.”

“What is it about then? Why a watch? It seems expensive.”

“Well it is expensive but I earn enough, so... I just... I thought it would look good on you.”

A memory crept up and he remembered how once in middle school Kise had helped Momoi buy a t-shirt for Kuroko; it was a white one with blue stripes and looked like a sailor's outfit. It was a brand-name product apparently and had cost her quite a bit, he had teased her relentlessly for it but once fed up she had yelled,

“I just wanted to see him, for him to look good in something I gave him, I know it is silly but it makes me happy...”

It would be too much wishful thinking to assume a similar scenario here, but would it hurt to think of it as such? It wouldn't hurt anybody if he thought it as such and kept his thoughts to himself, right?

So he smiled and ruffled Kise's hair, which earned him a signature pout and the sight accelerated his heartbeat a bit.

“Thank you. It looks good.” he said, his voice sincere and calm – his soul was not at all and he was surprised at his own fake nonchalance, perhaps he was maturing a bit. Kise blushed then, this perfect shade of pink invaded his face and ears and Aomine wondered, prayed, hoped... that maybe, just maybe.

Then a loud yell informed them of just what the hell was taking them so long to get more glasses from the kitchen. Kise chuckled awkwardly and rushed to the living room with glasses in his hands.

 

* * *

 

“It can't be! Man she was such a babe too!”

“I know! One wonders how such a busty blond is you know, lesbian. I mean I thought lesbians were all butch...”

“Isn't it like a manga? But just the reverse? Manager slash captain thing I mean? This feels fake to me.”

“No man, somebody actually saw them, kissing.”

“Girls sometimes can be very touchy feely with each other ya know?”

“Nah, they were kissing like full-on mouth action; tongues and heavy breathing and groping.”

“Oh shit, that's hot.”

A basketball flew fast and strong towards the small crowd of three young men, their chatter instantly shattered with the momentum of the orange ball which struck the ground with a loud noise.

“My bad,” the blond said, grabbing the ball yet there was a flicker of disdain in his eyes that he did not care to hide, “were you taking a break? You will never make it to the first string if you are so flippant about basketball.”

His voice was uncharacteristically cold and sterile that it perplexed its audience.

“Uh, we were just–“

“Gossiping? I don't think it will help you on the court.” Kise flashed a smile very rarely seen on his face; a perfect sneer that pronounced contempt without any need for actual words or sounds. He did not wait for the trio to respond and simply ran back towards the court, all the while Aomine watched him from afar with concern.

They all went to dinner with the team that evening after their manager's insistence, something about team bonding that they were lacking and what not... Aomine sincerely wished they had not.

The problem was that two girls from the university's second most famous sports team after male's basketball, the female's volleyball were recently outed. The team's manager, who was a beautiful third year sought after by many men, and the petite and shy second year libero were caught kissing behind the third gym's building... Somehow, it became a big issue; both girls were even called to some private meetings with the coach and the head of the varsity teams committee. They haven't been seen in the campus for days now and rumours were galore. While most were either scandalised or utterly curious and lecherously gleeful about the whole affair, Kise seemed to be perturbed and upset. The blond had always been a sensitive person in the first place and regarded matters of heart with a lot of gravity, there was also the unnerving aspect of such forceful outing and perhaps he felt some sort of solidarity or at least a deeper empathy due to that? Sure, he had long come out of the closet with his close friends but Aomine had caught on to the fact that this had been rather a privilege the blond bestowed upon them for being close to him rather than part of a public declaration. Most people, notably his horde of fans most of whom were female, had absolutely no idea and the tan boy could understand why Kise preferred to keep it a secret from the public. Especially so considering the awful treatment the poor girls from the volleyball team had been getting. The sheer pressure, endless scrutiny, constant disdain, and selfish mockery were so unsettling that Aomine himself felt upset, he did not how two girls dealt with it, or rest of the team as well; it seemed people sprouted all kinds of rumours and lies about the whole female's volleyball team.

He has forever been indifferent to his surroundings, other people did not interest him in general and he found himself very much apathetic to most except his dear friends. Still, the situation irritated him; there was a special viciousness in the particular ways people attacked these young women. He felt specially disturbed at people talking publicly and graphically about the most intimate moments of someone as mere fodder for their own self-satisfaction and frustrated libido. This continuous interrogation or judgement of a person's character solely based on the person they liked? It did not make any sense to Aomine and he found it profoundly wrong and wicked. He himself had never paid much thought to his own identity, never truly tried to hide or expose it in the first place. However, seeing what was being unfolded in front of him as well as the realisation of the general importance of privacy, he understood the gravity of the situation, of being outed so despicably... Then the idea of Kise being outed in such an unfair manner came to his mind. The possibility (and there definitely was a possibility) sickened him to his stomach and he lost his appetite in the middle of dinner, his eyes found Kise's honey orbs purposefully glaring at his own plate as if to block out all the chatter going on around him that centred around the two female lovers.

“You know, I'm thinking, that shortie? No way she could have seduced the babe right? It must have been the other way around. I bet that little girl, I mean she's so cute and timid and innocent, no way she was touched before ya know. Must have been why she fell victim.”

“Yeah, if only she had been with men before, she would never, I'm sure too. May be I should try her when she comes back to the campus? Short brunettes are totally my type. Oh man, I'd love to do her and I'm sure she would never look for any girl afterwards...”

Kise's eyes widened in disgusted shocked and his face went visibly sour and angry, his lower lip shaking involuntarily out of fury, he was about to stand up when Aomine hit his fist to the table.

“Okay, you know what, that's enough.”

“Huh?”

Everyone's attention turned to the power forward, including Kise's which was a mixture of surprise and curiosity though his discomfort due to the whole situation was still evident in his firmly fisted hands resting on the table.

“All I'm saying is,” Aomine took a pause to recline on his chair as his teammates stared at him, “if you are so goddamn pathetic to think that sleeping with you, or with any man for that matter, would turn a lesbian and make them into men, then you really deserve to be castrated so that your genes don't carry on.”

There was not an ounce of humour or amusement in his face, he gazed straight into eyes of the second year who had uttered the vile comment, he had not even blinked as he pronounced every syllable with gravitas in his characteristic low voice.

He was serious.

“What?! I am your senpai!”

“Yeah, not a decent human being though.”

The older man upset, stood up abruptly,

“You cannot talk shit to me like that! You think you are all something because you are good at basketball!”

“I am also good at punching people's faces in, but I prefer not to. I don't think you would want that either senpai, so calm the fuck down.”

The older man stared, eyes full of fury and his mouth opened to speak but then shut; Aomine had a much larger build than him and a murderous gaze.

“Insolent bastard...” he murmured as he took his bag and turned to leave,

“Don't forget to pay your tab.” Aomine yelled from behind.

“Um, Aomine-san, don't you think that was a bit harsh?” one of the other freshmen mumbled a little shyly only to be the next target of the darker boy's piercing gaze,

“No it was not. He deserves worse for talking crap like that.”

“Why are you so angry about this? It's not like you knew any of those girls.”

“I don't have to know them to know spewing bullshit and gossiping obsessively about them 24/7 is creepy and obnoxious as fuck.”

“Wow never thought you were so chivalrous.”

“I am not chivalrous, I am just not a pathetic loser.”

It was almost as if a cold breeze had taken over the room, though it would be true for the outside, October had already arrived with all its chilly nights, the restaurant was quite hot and crowded and noisy, to the point that no other patrons had even batted an eyelash to the ongoings of their table. Still, for their own company it seemed as though time had stopped and air frozen.

Kise's eyes glinted with evident respect and amusement at Aomine and this swelled the ace's heart so much, he felt his appetite return. He started eating again to the surprise of his teammates and a silent giggle of Kise; they had been all vexed by just how serious Aomine had been in chiding them and was so nonchalantly eating now despite the obvious awkwardness.

One of the third years, a particularly apologetic one, finally commented much characteristically and timidly to break the ice so to speak,

“Aomine-kun, could it be that you perhaps had a crush one of those girls?”

Aomine shrugged indifferently as he munched on his katsudon, “Nope.”

The gesture and the answer seemed to bring them back to a livelier mood, at least the eerie silence left and some returned back to eating, including Kise finally – he had spent most of his time not eating but just playing with his noodles till then.

It was then someone commented passingly,

“Hmm, thought busty girls were your type though, Aomine-san?”

“Yeah but that doesn't mean I like any girl just because they are busty.”

“I remember you saying so once, Aominecchi.” Kise chimed in, some colour had returned back to his complexion though his hand was gripping the side of the table awkwardly, which Aomine interpreted as feeling better but not yet secure or calm. It was both endearing and saddening for him; a sudden yearning to just grab the blond by the wrist and take him away from the stupid gathering came to his mind, he hurried it away. He did not have to be so protective, did he? Nor could he ever show his affection as such, given their predicament and more importantly the unrequited nature of his feelings...

“I was a brat guided by his hormones, so what? Everyone's like that at that age.”

This earned him another silent giggle, which warmed his heart again; these fuzzy and joyful things his heart was doing, he was almost used to them by now despite how alien they had felt early on. Now, on the contrary, he wished to be able to express them a bit more... He really wanted to hold Kise's hand now, it seemed to grip to table as before but it was as if it was pulling Aomine's heartstrings.

“So if you don't just go for breasts, what do you go for Aomine-san? One wonders what kind of a girl you would like.”

A thought occurred to him. He paused to think though his mouth continued chewing as such his audience probably thought that he was just trying to finish his mouthful of food before speaking; in reality he was quickly gauging in his mind if he really had the guts to say the thing he thought to say... Or did he really want to say it in the first place? God, this was tough. How did Kise do this all this time? It must have sucked.

He was not like Kise though; his attitude towards life had often been a big, aggressive, angst filled 'fuck you' and he was not planning to change it now. Plus, it would be fun to see their reactions... right?

Perhaps he was being childish, perhaps he would regret it the next day, but many “perhaps”es that accumulated could not contain the impulsive determination that had taken over his mind.

“There are many things I guess... Don't know. Anyway, the person I like right now is not a woman. He's a guy.”

Kise chocked on his food and the timing of his urgent reaction would have raised some eyebrows if similar reactions had not happened amongst many others sitting at the same table. Mouths gaped, eyes widened, a few people rushed to drink water as they continued coughing, and for his part Kise looked completely scandalised and dumbfounded.

Aomine wanted to grin, so desperately, so assuringly, so smugly. It was wrong too and stupid and now that he had said this shit that he would never be able to take it back and God knows what the heck would it cause him tomorrow... Maybe people would spew all sorts of crap like they did for those girls. But somehow, for that moment, he did not care. He did not care at all as Kise's tight grip on the table loosed as his arm moved towards the other and he sat there, in surprise and confusion, his arm across his chest in an unconscious defensive stance...

Aomine did not grin for it would give away everything, he just continued eating his food nonchalantly.

“Uh... Hah... Hahaha. Well that was a funny one Aomine-san.” the culprit who had brought up the subject and question spoke. “This has to be a joke” was the common agreement across the table, apparently, Aomine did not care.

“You think I'm joking?” he asked unperturbed as he finished eating the last piece of meat left.

“It... is not?”

“It is not a joke. Why would I joke about something like that?”

A sudden awkward silence befell the table again then and only moments later one of them commented timidly,

“You mean... Aomine-san, you are gay?”

“I am bi, I think. Not that it is any of your business.”

“No it is not but I mean...”

“You mean what? Do you have a problem with it?”

He reclined to the chair again and let his eyes wander around, passing each and every one of his teammates, scrutinising their faces now utterly surprised and unable to say anything, before he spoke again with a clear tone that was not threatening but felt heavier than any threat,

“Does any of you have a problem with it?”

Some looked at the others shyly, others stared at their food, some just looked away in escape, nobody dared say anything; it was not that there was a tone of brutal threats, they were simply shaken with the revelation and honestly, Aomine found this to be completely stupid in itself: what was it to them who he wanted to sleep with was that they would feel so anxious and unnerved hearing of it?

“I think I'll just go home...” the apologetic third year said, he was the first one to run away. Almost literally too, he was gone in mere seconds. The others soon followed and all that left of their boisterous table of ten minutes ago were Kise and Aomine.

After a long pause the blond cleared his throat and spoke,

“Were you serious?”

“You too? Why would I joke about something like that?”

“I don't know... I just... Why?”

“Why?”

“Why did you tell them?”

“So you are more surprised that I said it than that it is true?”

“Well... I always thought of you as straight but Momocchi always said you were not as straight as you seem to be.”

“Seem? I don't think you can tell these kind of things from looks...”

“No, I mean... the things you talk about you know. Breasts and stuff...”

“Oh... Well as I said–“

“Bisexual. Yeah, I get it, you like women too. Anyway, I am not that surprised of that... I guess.”

“For reasons... that you don't want to mention?”

Till that moment Kise had been playing with his food as he talked in murmurs, that question lifted his head up though. He stared at Aomine for a few seconds, wordless and in search of something that the dark boy had no idea what... He smiled then. It was not sad, it was not happy, it was a strange little smile. Aomine had no idea what, and this agitated him.

“So, why? Why did you confess it to them?”

“I don't think it was a confession, they asked about it and I said it. I don't think it is a big deal.”

“But it is a big deal! You saw it yourself, how they treated those girls. Do you think people will just let it go and treat you the same as before?”

“They probably won't. So what? If they are that flimsy, I don't need them around me anyway.”

“But... What if the school hears? What if your family hears?”

“And what about it? Will they worry over me? I'll tell school to go fuck itself because it has no authority over who I sleep with. My family? Which one? The one who has always been absent? Plus, trust me, they are so indifferent they probably would only panic for a week or so and then return to their routine always outside-at-work schedule.”

Kise sighed.

“Do you really not care?”

“Maybe I do. But there are other things I care more about...”

The blond gave a bitter snicker at that which pierced Aomine's chest like a cruel dagger...

“Is that so?” he asked sarcastically as he reached for his bag, it was obvious that he was getting ready to leave and the Aomine desperately and doubtlessly wanted to stop him but knew stopping him now would only upset the blond more. He swallowed the urgency of that desire.

“Yes.”

“Like what?”

“Like... like... shit, like how I feel. Okay? Like the person I like.”

“Really?”

“Yes!”

“Jeez... Aominecchi, I wonder, who is this lucky person?”

“You know who.”

“Do I?”

There was almost a challenge in the way Kise's eyes shone, bright and unyielding, he looked Aomine straight in the eye.

He should have told it years ago when their lips embraced each other in the cover of the night and shine of the moon.

He should have told it years ago that night when he felt a tingling sensation overcome every part of his body and desired to hold Kise so strongly and tightly in his grip yet also only caress him ever so softly lest he break, for that moment had felt so fragile, and Aomine himself had felt so fragile...

He should have told it years ago that night when he realised that yes, he loved this boy, something deep inside him had been aware and telling too but he had just ignored it so forcefully for a myriad of reasons none of which made sense to him now and he did not understand why he had never tried it again, why he had to leave, why he had to stand at a distance afterwards...

All the reasons seemed minuscule and irrelevant yet he took such a long pause unknowingly that Kise's face warped as if he had eaten something unbearably sour and he was about to turn away when Aomine said in a lucid voice,

“I like you. I like you, Kise.”

The eyes that were so challenging before tamed into a peaceful comprehension and the blond's face was visibly relieved, but he did not say anything, he did not smile, he did not chuckle, he did not scowl or frown either.

Suddenly, Aomine felt fragile again. Yet Kise in front of him did not feel or seem fragile at all this time; perhaps his golden gaze was not challenging him to a duel any more but he looked as unyielding as he did moments ago...

He did not say anything, simply stared for a few seconds then nodded and the Aomine would spend days later wondering about just what the hell that nod meant. For that moment though, he could not even speak or think anything apart from the direful realisation of his own fragility, of his own sincerity, of his own foolish courage...

He had finally put himself out there in the open... and Kise chose not to comment.

In silence the blond turned to leave moments later and murmured a barely audible “good night” as he was about to move away and his pace was quick but not quicker than Aomine's final words for the night:

“Kise... I have always liked you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this actually turned out fluffier than I thought. Also longer. Much longer. You see originally it was supposed to be around 5K words, then around 13K words, and I think now that it is wrapped up, it is over 20K words. I am just miserably talentless at being succinct. Alas, I hope it is entertaining at least.

People murmured to each other whenever they saw him. Some of the teachers must have heard about it, for they also scrutinised him with their eyes whenever he was in their class. The coach called him for a private meeting that week, he was asked not to rattle the team's balance and peace, which he openly questioned:

 

“ _So you think the gender of who I like will rattle the team's balance and peace? I should just leave the team perhaps then? Not to 'rattle' you guys._ ”

 

Obviously, they did not let him go; they could not.

 

One thing he became awfully aware in the last week was how biased most people actually were; he simply had not realised it before because he had not been a target of such biases. Quite fortunately for him was his nonchalant character; he had never had any close friends in the university other than Kise anyway. He did not care what they thought of him. This did not mean that he was not irritated by the inquisitive staring or hushed gossips though. The second issue he became painfully aware was his own privilege. He was Aomine Daiki, _the power forward extraordinaire_. The team could not bear losing him, the school had high hopes for his present and future career, so the reaction had been considerably quieter and more accommodating than the 'scandal' over the girls from the volleyball team. Once he came across the smaller girl, the libero, near the gyms and he felt guilty for not having more properly empathised with them before and for coming off better even in this.

 

The only person who acted exactly like before with him was actually the only person who should not have: Kise Ryouta.

 

The blond seemed to completely overlook the fact that he had just been confessed by his friend and teammate. They played one-on-one like before, they rivalled each other enthusiastically on the court during practice, and they bickered childishly like always. While his brain told him that this was good, that this was the best, staying as friends was the most important thing, his heart rebelled haughtily; he could not bear how unperturbed Kise was regarding the confession, how he was left unanswered, not even a proper rejection nor a proper approval. It hurt him and if he had to be honest, he was hurt greater by this than all the silly rumours and prejudice he had been flooded with in the last week.

 

Momoi had been rather angry when she first heard of the stunt he pulled, though afterwards she grew calm and understanding quickly like always, “ _it will be better eventually, just let some time pass_ ” was all the counselling she could offer unfortunately. Thus, Aomine let it be; ignored everything and everyone nasty around him, napped even more than usual, came to practices late and left late, and overall kept to himself. He could ignore this elephant too, he had ignored even a larger one for years after all.

 

* * *

 

 

A few weeks later, Aomine was already too successful in his own prescription of keeping his cool and not paying attention to the attitudes of those around him. He had forever been lackadaisical towards the ways others approached to himself, what often tipped him off and let his temper boil, however, were aggression against those he cared about or were fond of.

 

Thus, as if on cue, what actually set Aomine Daiki on fire with fury was not the weeks of slander or the prying of others over him; it was how, one afternoon as he was leaving the changing room with Kise at his side, planning to grab some food after the tiring practice they just had, he found a few of his teammates gossiping as they lazily played around with a basketball.

 

“You know, I would understand if it was Kise... But, I mean... Aomine? I never saw it coming.”

 

“Exactly. Like I always kind of thought Kise could be gay, with the pretty face, girly speech, and earring and what not, but Aomine?! How does that even work?”

 

“Dude, I really _really_ don't want to think about how does that even work. With Aomine. Kise, though? That is already obvious, how it works. Isn't it?”

 

Displeasure rose within him to unfathomable levels and rage overruled his mind in the blink of an eye, he was about to stomp to the court when a strong grip on his wrist stopped him forcefully.

 

“Don't.”

 

“Don't what? Don't you hear what the fuck they are spewing? Fucking bullshit factories.”

 

“And what are you going to do? What are you going to say? It is true that I am gay.”

 

“But you are not gay because you have a pretty face or that you wear an earring! How old are they? Five? How do they even come up with shit like that?”

 

“And do you think you yelling them that will actually change anything? They will probably only think that you have a crush on me at this point!”

 

That caused an awkward pause because of its unintended truth and consequent gravity, the blond's grip on his wrist resolved timidly. A few silent seconds later, Kise spoke, his voice calm and empathetic,

 

“We are not children any longer. Stop feeling like you have to protect us... me. You do not have to protect me. I don't want to wonder if you are doing something detrimental to yourself, your career simply to be the overprotective one... Like what you did in high school... You could have been suspended. Or what you did at the restaurant, the whole way you came out...”

 

“I did not–“

 

“Do it all for me, I understand I know, it is just... Please. I can take care of myself. I don't need your protection. We are grown ups now. Grow out of it.”

 

Aomine felt a certain prickling feeling on his chest, his hand formed into a fist as realisation of the words he heard and all the possible implications started to dawn on him but he had always been an impulsive person, so on an impulse, he uttered the first thing that he felt in reaction to Kise's words, despite the fact that the blond had already turned his back and was about to walk away,

 

“Satsuki. She has been doing judo. For two years now.”

 

Kise peered back, evidently confused,

 

“I know?”

 

“Do you also know that she is able to knock me out? Cold... Shit... She is just so strong.”

 

“Well I didn't know that...” Kise mumbled, still puzzled at why the topic had arose, Aomine sighed loudly,

 

“She is so fuckin' strong. She has always been. Despite her timidity at times and sentimental bullshit... Still, when I see somebody harass her or something, I get so mad. I feel like protecting her. No matter how strong she is, no matter the fact that now thanks to her weird judo mumbo jumbo she is able to kick ass much harder than me... I still have the urge to protect her.”

 

Realisation slowly reached Kise and Aomine lifted his gaze to the blond's face, looking into his eyes, somehow he did not feel a single ounce of embarrassment, somehow gazing into those amber orbs felt so natural, so familiar, so normal,

 

“The fact is: she is important, she is my friend, and of course I'll feel like protecting her. This is not about being children or grown ups. Hell, I'll never grow out of this shit. Fine, I have to be less impulsive. I get that. It screws things up. But that's something else. Whatever. That's all I wanted to say.”

 

“Okay...” Kise mumbled, a serene smile found its way onto his face and there was apparent affection in his stare that Aomine suddenly felt a little bashful, it was ironic compared to the unabashed courage he had just a moment ago. He scratched his nape then stomped forward, gripping Kise's wrist in the meantime and dragging him alongside,

 

“Wait... What are you?!”

 

“Oi! You jerkfaces. Four-on-two. You four. Me and the pretty boy here. Let's see if your skills on the court are half of your finesse in bullshitting.”

 

The four second years who were previously gossiping looked in partial awe and partial horror, Kise in return was stupefied at first but then started giggling in spite of the perplexed looks he received. Aomine glared at him but he shrugged and somewhere in his mind Aomine thought that Kise's giggles were too melodious to be simply laughter, he carefully hid the corny thought away lest any mind-reader was around to decipher it.

 

* * *

 

 

When December came, the chatter around Aomine had already decreased quite a bit, mainly because of the amazing performance their team had been showing thanks to Aomine and Kise's perfect performance, including the recent win in a friendly match against another heavyweight of the league. There was also the fact that they have found other things to blab about and Aomine guessed that gossiping about him was not that entertaining since he was profoundly indifferent about it most of the time. That is the thing about Aomine Daiki – he may have a huge ego but thanks to said huge ego, he overlooks most things people say or do in regards to him. His narcissism is a protective charm against being ruffled by defamation.

 

Whether a misfortune or fortune, he was not sure, his relationship with Kise neither improved nor declined. If there were any changes, they were on his side rather than Kise's; such as how he stopped hanging out in the blond's apartment... It was awkward for him, even if it was not for Kise (which he was uncertain about too), to stay in such close and private proximity of the blond, the yearning and desires always claimed his body and soul so completely in such moments, he dreaded saying or doing something stupid that would upset the delicate balance they had going. Probably due to the realisation that if Aomine confessed his feelings to him, he must have also informed Momoi of them, Kise apparently stopped talking with Momoi about his private life which bothered both Momoi and Aomine for different reasons: poor girl was sad to be stuck in such a tough position between two dear friends, and Aomine on his side was simply terribly curious about whether the blond had anybody in his life or not. .

 

A single day into the Winter Break which he was fully intent on spending in perfect sloth, he was informed by Momoi that Kise was throwing a Christmas party at his place. This made him all kinds of content and sad and anxious: it probably meant that Kise was still single, for the blond would much prefer to spend it alone with his lover than with the whole gang. It also meant that things must be not so good between them yet, since he preferred to inform Momoi and thus implicitly Aomine, instead of inviting Aomine outright, despite the fact that they were spending so much time together before the break due to being teammates and sharing many courses together at the university. It also meant that he would be seeing Kise again, in his own apartment too, and his heart raced at the thought and he hated his heart for racing at the thought. Certain worries and insecurities he did not know he was capable of carrying attacked him relentlessly and he found himself unsure whether to join in on the fun or not; he was not certain how he would behave, especially when others were around and Kise's words from their argument a couple of weeks prior were reminded to him by his own conscience.

 

Only a day before Christmas, he received a text from Momoi out of blue:

 

[From: Satsuki]

[“Hey Dai-chan, I was thinking... Why don't you buy Ki-chan a gift? For Christmas?]

 

Considering that he had not bought Kise any present for his birthday though he had received one from him, the idea made sense. He was quite afraid of breaking or shaking things between them in any foul way though, as well as the fact that he was utterly incompetent when it came to buying gifts. The only idea he could come up with and execute within the single day he had was almost a rip off but he thought that it was better than nothing. The problem now was how to give it to Kise. He was still reluctant about going to the party in the first place too.

 

Giving a Christmas gift had a very specific meaning in their context, add to that the fact that Kise's place was going to be full of people that night did not make things any easier. Luckily, though, Momoi offered to carry the shopping bag that was a little too big to ignore if Aomine entered in with it. She was to arrive at Kise's place earlier than others anyway and she promised to put it inside the cleaning closet in advance. Since they both had planned to also stay later than others, at a strategic point in time she would give them a moment of privacy so that Aomine could give his gift but before he could embarrass himself, she would return back and they would call it a night. The whole plan seemed genius to Aomine and he thanked to any and all gods out there for having a master of strategy and tactics as his best friend. As corny and uncharacteristic the whole situation was, Momoi had not mocked him even once and instead sincerely cared and helped. He was going to return the favour if she ever found a man worthy of her interest. Not that he could in the same way she did for her, but in some way...

 

The night proceeded almost perfectly according to the plan until that fateful moment when only Kagami, Kuroko, him, Momoi, and Kise were left and Kagami managed to break a whole stack of dirty plates thanks to a sudden realisation of Kuroko's presence near him. He was extremely apologetic over it and rushed to get something, anything to clean the mess he made. Aomine should have paid more attention at that moment than to hysterically laugh at the redhead's blunder and Kuroko's never improved lack of presence. Unfortunately, Momoi at that moment had also been occupied to realise Kagami's move – she was reprimanding Aomine for laughing too much.

 

“Ah I thought you wore Asics Kise? Those J's must have costed quite a bit too.” Kagami said passingly as he took to sweeping the floor and Kise was helping but looked a little confused at the comment,

 

“What do you mean? Yeah, I wear Asics. I don't have any J's?”

 

Aomine froze the moment he heard the conversation and Momoi's eyes widened with guilt splattering all over her face and Kuroko's eyes narrowed as he watched his friends' reactions,

 

“Huh? Why do you have a box of brand new Year of the Dragon Air Jordan's in your closet then? Don't tell me you're one of those people who just buy and hoard 'em, like Ahomine.”

 

“I don't hoard them, I actually use them.” was Aomine's instantaneous reaction almost out of reflex as Kagami gave him a clearly doubtful look. Momoi excused herself to grab something to drink and gave a silent apologetic glance at Aomine as she left. Kise simply stared, puzzled.

 

“I don't know what you're saying you must be mistaken...” he started as he walked over near the door of the closet and upon finding the lavish red box inside a large white shopping bag, he outright gasped. Aomine reclined on the couch, hiding his eyes under his elbow. He could swear he heard a silent snicker from Kuroko's direction.

 

“This is... I don't know whose is this...”

 

“Dude, are you doing a secret Santa or something with someone? If so, you must have the best secret Santa in the world.”

 

“No... I am not... It is...”

 

Kagami had walked near Kise too and they were both scrutinising the gold embellished red box (and why did Nike have to go all out on that box like that, Aomine wondered now, it was simply too ornate) as if it was a lone threatening suitcase in front of a government building. He had to deal with this. So he moved his elbow away, sat upright, and cleared his throat. And yes, he definitely heard a snicker from Kuroko's direction. Kise and Kagami looked at him, purely confused.

 

“Those are... mine, you could say.”

 

“We could say?”

 

“Jeez, I should have known.”

 

“But Aominecchi what are your shoes doing in my home? And it seems as if the box is not even opened?”

 

“See, I told you, he is a hoarder.”

 

“I am not a fucking hoarder. It is a gift so obviously it's not opened! For fuck's sake... Why would I give an opened and used pair as a present, dumbass?!”

 

Kagami looked perplexed and a realisation dawned upon Kise but before either could comment, Kuroko responded, monotone and relaxed,

 

“So you decided to give another pair as a gift to Kagami-kun?”

 

Kagami looked scandalised at the implication and Kise was simply dumbfounded and unsure why Kuroko had thought such a thing, it took him only a second to realise why – there was a tiny, sarcastic, and borderline impish smile at the end of the thin lips.

 

“What the hell?! Why would I give shoes to Bakagami?!”

 

“Well you had, once before...”

 

“It was all Satsuki's doing and dumbass didn't have shoes and had a game against Kise. I would have killed him if he went out there and played all shitty against Kise because he didn't have decent shoes.”

 

“You have strange priorities.” Kagami commented as he shrugged, then his eyebrows furrowed in suspicion, “But wait, who are the shoes for then?”

 

Aomine gulped and Kise smiled.

 

He had spent weeks wondering 'how's and 'why's of the blond's nonchalant behaviour and there had been many moments when he had seen Kise smile since his confession, but this one looked peculiar in that it was cheeky; a truly amused mischievous grin, Aomine felt bewildered.

 

“They are for... Kise.”

 

“Huh? Why the hell would you give J's to Kise?”

 

“And he doesn't even wear that model and you are supposed to be teammates.” Kuroko added, simply to agitate his former teammate further. Aomine sighed deeply and was about to explode in anger if it wasn't for the joyful smirk that continued to tug on Kise's lips. He had thought of anything but actually being forced to give an explanation, he was going to take his revenge sweet and cold from the ghost boy in near future, he promised himself.

 

“I know very well which model he wears. It is just... This particular edition looks pretty cool. And it is yellow and stylish and shit.”

 

“Oh is it Kise's birthday?” Kagami wondered out loud and the blond lost it at that, started giggling like a child and Aomine was not sure whether to be angry or elated at the predicament he was in and though his pride ached in agony and itched in irritation, Kise's giggles felt like a sweet and calm rain over his bruised self-confidence, he could not help feeling content with himself. He was not going to answer Kagami's question but Kuroko answered in his stead, unfortunately,

 

“No. But it is Christmas.”

 

The answer did not seem to satisfy Kagami though,

 

“Yeah, but didn't you tell me that in Japan people don't give Christmas gifts to their family and friends necessarily? That it is more of a–“ he stopped mid sentence and his face flushed a shade of red similar to his hair, slowly and in unhidden suspicion he glanced at Aomine. A small snicker was heard again from Kuroko's direction and Kise disappeared off to his bedroom with the box, giggling.

 

“I'll just go get something to drink.” was Aomine's way of running away from the living room, albeit very unoriginal, and he felt like strangling Momoi as she burst into laughter upon seeing him in the kitchen.

 

Two hours later his embarrassment had mostly faded and he was grateful that Kagami and Kuroko had left; the redhead's constant scrutinising stares had started unnerving him. Kise came back from kitchen, drying his hands with a small towel,

 

“You could have helped you know.”

 

“Satsuki was helping. What more do you need?”

 

“You are such a lazy bum Aominecchi.”

 

Aomine gave a sour look from his place – he was lying down on the couch while Momoi and Kise had been doing at least one round of dish-washing to ensure their host still had the bare minimum kitchen utensils clean to have breakfast the next day.

 

Kise's chuckled,

 

“Thank you by the way.”

 

“For what?”

 

“The shoes?”

 

“Ah... Yeah, no problem.”

 

“Why were they in my broom closet in the first place though?”

 

“I thought I would give you later so...”

 

“But I didn't see you bring anything when you came?”

 

“Well, Satsuki brought them.”

 

“Oh... Yeah, she was carrying many things. I must not have realised.”

 

There was a calm smile on his face and Aomine could not fathom whether to take all these as positive signs towards what his heart ultimately desired or just signs of the deep camaraderie they shared.

 

A pause later Kise continued,

 

“They look quite flashy...”

 

“Yeah, 'cause you're flashy.”

 

“No, I'm not.” and the ridiculous pout made its entrance, Aomine's breath hitched a little – he had missed seeing Kise purse his lips like that to him, an irrational desire of touching those lips with his fingertips, with his own lips appeared within him. He swallowed this lump of lust with urgency.

 

Kise's gaze flickered for a second and when he spoke his voice was quieter, almost timid,

 

“Aominecchi...”

 

“Mm?”

 

“Want to play one-on-one?”

 

“Right now?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“We are at home.”

 

“There is a streetball court two blocks away.”

 

“It is December. Christmas.”

 

“Yeah but at least there is no snow. So what, you are afraid of a little cold?”

 

Aomine looked incredulous at the suggestion but his lips mumbled,

 

“What about Satsuki though...”

 

As if on cue her pretty head popped from the kitchen door (and it must have been kind of on cue considering her timing, she must have been listening them – she would pay dearly for that, Aomine swore to himself internally),

 

“Don't mind me... I'll just stick around at home.”

 

The air of December was cold and felt like a strong slap the moment it licked their faces when they stepped outside the warm apartment. Still, Kise seemed content and serene so Aomine's silent cursing faded away rather quickly as he focused on watching Kise till they arrived at the streetball court. They played for about an hour before Aomine called it quits, blaming the chill that had been biting his hands, though he had sweated a lot; Kise looked more tired than he was, breathing hard, and Aomine felt a mixture of both concern and arousal at the sight. It was very bizarre and uncomfortable in a way Then suddenly, when he was expecting the blond to pull the usual half serious half joking whining session, he instead started giggling, then his giggles turned louder and louder and soon he was sitting on the ground and simply laughing...

 

“Oi! Did your brain freeze or something?”

 

“You are... so stupid sometimes, Aominecchi. You know.”

 

Irritation pulled and furrowed his brows, he threw the basketball in his hand towards Kise, who voiced an “ _ouch_ ” at the strike, turned to glare at the power forward standing a metre away but soon burst into laughter again,

 

“What is it?”

 

“It is just... shoes, I mean.”

 

“What was I supposed to give you?!”

 

“No, I think it is the perfect gift. To receive from you actually.”

 

Aomine shrugged in response and strolled near languidly, then crouched, sitting on the ice cold surface cringed him and he was not sure how Kise was able to sit so nonchalantly.

 

Amber eyes seemed to shimmer under moonlight or perhaps his recently deepening feelings were screwing with his mind in spectacular ways, which was high probable. He blinked to ensure what he was seeing was accurate, somehow the gesture caused Kise to giggle again. A hand rose then, sweaty yet cold due to the biting of the wintry air, and cupped his cheek, Aomine had not expected the gesture at all so he was caught awkward, Kise smiled, no giggles, no cheeky amusement, simple contentment was evident on his lips.

 

“I loved you.”

 

Aomine blinked again, his blood tension rising to levels never seen before outside of the rare fights or the court, suddenly he started feeling warmer, as if a fire was lit in the pit of his stomach. He blinked, again, just to ensure that this was not a dream. It was not and as if to highlight this fact, Kise repeated, calmly,

 

“I loved you. I loved you so much, so sweetly and innocently too.”

 

Perhaps it was the repetition but only then Aomine realised the connotation and the figurative fire that had warmed him burnt him painfully in an instant. The past tense of the sentence turned into a thousand needles to prick him everywhere on his chest and how he wished he had never learnt any grammar at that point, just to have not heard or understood any possible implications of the statement.

 

Kise's hand fell down silently and slowly, caressing Aomine's neck, then shoulder, then arm, then it reached the cold ground and seemingly did not mind the bite of the winter's chill as it rested peacefully. The blond's eyes wandered to the full moon that ominously shone rather than Aomine's equally bewildered and pained face,

 

“Not counting the next door neighbour I fell for when I was five, I think you were my first love... It was so... joyful. Exhilarating. I never thought I would ever meet someone like you. You were perfect, the way you smiled, the way you played basketball, the way you ran, the way you talked – I adored every part of you, from your shallow jokes or silly pranks to your amazing skills on court and beautiful soul. Whenever you paid any attention to me, my heart would swell in my chest and I would think, ' _I wish_ '... Then your touches started to linger on me, I found your tender gaze over me when I least expected it, instead of shunning me away you took me under your wing as much as an angst-y cocky teenager could... And I started wondering, perhaps it was more than my wishful thinking, perhaps you liked me too.”

 

He sighed loudly,

 

“Because I liked you. I liked you so much. It was frightening to realise it, till then I had questioned my sexuality but I never actually had to face it so forcefully. I had thought that I could postpone it, that it could be a matter I could think later about, that I didn't have to make a decision... But you happened. And I knew. I knew how I was. And I desperately wished that you would be like me too, in some way at least. That you could like me the way I liked you. Suddenly, what was a curious and intimidating possibility before, became my inevitable truth. And that night, that baneful night, when you kissed me I thought, _that's it_. I finally accepted myself and you accepted me and that was all I could ever wish for...”

 

Aomine's awed gape crushed the moment he heard Kise chuckle, for this was not the melodious giggle he liked so much, the joyful laughter, no, it was the sarcastic snicker Kise rarely ever gave. When his golden gaze turned to Aomine, there was something profoundly broken, certainly uncertain about it,

 

“Then you left me there. You gave me the greatest hope I ever had and then left me alone with it. You simply left out of boredom and lack of interest. Not even out of fury or fear, those I could understand. Don't look at me so pained, I am not blaming you, I am past blaming, long past... I could never truly blame you anyway. You were a child. I get it. But...”

 

He took a moment to pause, sighed loudly again,

 

“We are not children anymore. Yet, you are as impulsive. Aren't you? We could kiss tonight but I wouldn't know if you would be there tomorrow. It is the same as ever. Perhaps because you are so bright or perhaps because you are so indifferent, but it is so incredibly difficult to maintain your interest. And I don't want to attempt and fail at that... again. I would much prefer us to be friends, to know that you will be there for me as a friend and that I will be there for you as a friend. It is not because I don't like you. The truth is, I've always ever liked you. Perhaps my initial crush passed, but it is impossible to not fall for you when I'm so close to you. You are just that... irresistible for me. But I cannot. You do whatever you like on a whim, you will out yourself simply to fuck with our obnoxious teammates or kiss me because you felt the urge... You do not think about the consequences Aominecchi, but matters of heart, words of love – they have very heavy consequences.”

 

He stood up lazily then, his smile calm without any resentment nor cheer yet a satisfaction at perhaps having explained himself. Aomine however, was left speechless for opposite reasons. His brain had always been slow on the uptake but he understood the core of the feelings Kise had generously bared to him. And it hurt. It hurt to know to have caused so much hurt, consciously or unconsciously, intentionally or intentionally – did it matter? Did it matter if he had wanted to inflict the injury when the injury was inflicted at the end?

 

So he stood up but unable to move and then Kise tugged on his sleeve and reluctantly he started following the blond towards his apartment. The walk started and finished in pure silence, Aomine lost in his thoughts, Kise seemingly relaxing his mind and sore muscles after exhausting both, when they were at the door, only then, Aomine realised that Kise had given him his answer.

 

And it was a dejected, hesitant rejection.

 

It hit him hard and his stomach felt heavier than ever, he wanted to vomit, to run away, to yell; things he usually did not do, things he would die than do in front of Kise not simply out of concern for his own pride but also not to hurt the blond any further. He cleared his throat, he had to leave, he could not go into the apartment that smelt so intensely like Kise, that had his pictures around, that had memories of the two fooling around... He cleared his throat again,

 

“I think I'll go home...”

 

“Oh, you can come in you know? I mean do not take our conversation–“

 

“I just need to think.”

 

“Fine, let me call Momocchi...”

 

“No... Can you just, call a cab for her? Take her home?”

 

Kise's face looked troubled but he nodded, which Aomine responded with an equal nod, the words somehow felt unbearably weighty so he instead turned to leave, fully ready to disappear without even a good bye even though he could practically feel the sad stare of the blond boring into his back.

 

Then, just when he was a few steps away from the stairs, just when Kise was about to enter the apartment, he froze in his spot and without turning his face back to his friend, he spoke, his voice tinged with a peculiar tremble that he could not fully suppress,

 

“I don't remember when I first started basketball exactly.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I don't remember it. Who taught it to me first or how I learnt or how I started... It was probably on a whim. I don't know why I even continued playing basketball... Other than that I have always liked it. Even when I could not find any opponents to rile me up, I still continued playing, because I hoped... I never gave up on it completely. Because I loved it. I love it. I... I think I love you. I don't even know precisely why I kissed you then or how I came to like you... It just happened. I think you have a point. It was on a whim, maybe. But that does not make it any less important or real.”

 

Something pulled his insides out and he felt this excruciating urge to look back, steal a glance from Kise, but the thought of a possibly vexed expression, of Kise being bothered by his words than relieved in any way, scared him so much and he was so unused to being afraid, he could not dare looking back. He sighed and shook his head slightly.

 

“Good bye.” he said and started running down the stairs at the full speed, without even waiting to hear a response back, for he specifically did not want to hear a response then.

 

For the first time in his life, Aomine Daiki who had forever been cursed with a divine stamina and physique felt his legs too heavy to move and his bones crumble in every step he took.

 

* * *

 

 

Even if he had wanted to keep the conversation he had with Kise a secret, it would not have been feasible for he had never been able to keep secrets from Momoi. Thus, it was Momoi who also dragged him alongside her to attend Kise's invitation to go to the New Year's first temple visit together, Kagami and Kuroko being the other two invited. He had not wanted to go, but his brilliant surrogate sister had been adamant,

 

“ _If his fear is you not being reliable, then you have to prove him wrong by your presence._ ”

 

This kind of strategising was not something he could ever achieve nor he ever wanted to achieve; he had always been the one to move with intuition and instinct, so having to resort to such methodologies itched him the wrong way but when Kise was involved, he did not protest too much.

 

Any chance was better than no chance at all and he had hoped that perhaps he could continue on at this point a little longer, as long as it did not bother Kise. If it did, he would have to stop but moving on seemed such a humongous obstacle, he was not sure how to succeed at it while keeping such close proximity with the blond. After prayer and donation, he wondered what Kise might have wished for; what he himself wished for seemed to be so painfully obvious to all their group, everyone gave him the weirdest looks and he wanted to simply yell a loud “ _fuck you_ ” to them all and go play basketball; unfortunately, it was still freezing cold and his hands did not feel adequately warm even inside the gloves that Momoi forced him to wear. It had snowed a day ago too, so there were small mounds of snow everywhere.

 

It started when they were already close to Kise's apartment, having successfully persuaded Kagami to cook for them mainly due to Kuroko personally requesting it and Kagami being too soft to reject his crafty better half. Unbelievably, the person to start it was Momoi, as Aomine continued grumbling about how hungry he was, how extremely cold it was, and thus how stupid it was for him to even agree to come, she threw a small snowball to his face. Irritated and shocked at the sudden wet coldness freezing his face as well as the devilish giggle of his best friend, he yelled, furiously and full of expletives only to feel the same icy wetness on his bare back. He yelled again, desperately trying to reach to his back as he saw Kuroko behind him, a tiny smile tugged to his lips.

 

An old memory surfaced, his heart softened by it but he was going to take his revenge. Hence he did, but Kuroko had already switched to his stealth mode and it would be too hard to target him so he went for the next best thing: he threw a relatively large snowball right across Kagami's face. Kuroko was stunned in his spot, Momoi gaped, and Kise after his initial surprise started to cackle with amusement. This, however, only resulted in the blond himself being hit hard by a snowball, courtesy of a now furious Kagami. Then it turned into a snowball fight amongst adult university students in the middle of a street; alliances formed and broke within minutes and backstabbing or rather back-snowballing became the norm of the treacherous and cruel war at play.

 

It was stupid, it was fun, it was absolutely them.

 

Then the friendly fun took an unexpected turn as Kise's previously fake wails turned into a very real, sharp scream and Aomine dropped the large snowball he had meticulously prepared for Kagami's equally large face as he urgently ran across and in a flash was near Kise, who had crouched down and was furiously rubbing his face as he gave sounds of pain.

 

“You okay?”

 

“Ugh... damn... I think it got into my eye.”

 

“Should be fine as long as it was just snow... Let me see it.”

 

“But it hurts!”

 

“Jeez, are you a baby? Come on, let me see it.”

 

His hands grasped the cold ones, moving them away from the face they hid; Kise was wearing his elegantly designed thin leather gloves and expectedly they were incredibly frigid – not the best equipment for a battle of snow and ice, Aomine could feel the blond's hands tremble slightly from the frostbite. So he bit the end of one of his own gloves as he took it off and his other hand held Kise's chin up, leaning in to get a better look at the honey eyes that seemed to glow warm even in the midst of the wintry weather. Confirming that all was okay, he felt his chest relax and release a breath he had not realised to be holding, he took off his other glove too then, gracefully leaving Kise's face, then he took the freezing, pale hands into his again and carefully put them in his own gloves.

 

“Won't you feel cold?” Kise blinked, his eyes were wet and his nose was red and his lips were charred, and Aomine thought he looked stunning. He gave a cocky smirk,

 

“I am not pathetically weak as you, li'l shit. Plus we are near your apartment anyway. Come on, get up.”

 

Only when he held Kise's hand and helped him up, he realised that they were still in the middle of a street and his friends were still there. Kagami was gaping, a partially melted snowball was squeezed tightly in his fisted hand, Aomine glared,

 

“What?”

 

“No-nothing. Dumbass.”

 

Momoi giggled and skipped to his best friend's side, sliding his arm around his as Kise did the same from the other side,

 

“Come on then...” she said cheerfully,

 

“Indeed, _come on then_ , I am starving...” he conceded as he pondered, how despite his much lowered body temperature and the icy weather, the places where his arm entwined with Kise's felt incredibly warm and tickled his heart playfully.

 

He hoped that others would think of the slight blush on his cheeks to be a fierce kiss of the cold weather, than actual bashfulness, which was very much the case.

 

* * *

 

 

They fell into a strange understanding, a negotiated state of mutual acceptance; Aomine did not go to Kise's place alone, Kise never invited him alone, they were close, perhaps closer than before, but maintained this careful distance in open recognition of Aomine's feelings. Not that he minded his feelings being recognised as such, but sometimes that invisible buffer zone between them stung quite a bit; a careless touch like they have shared countless times in the past could turn into something more in a second and they would separate immediately upon realisation of it. Aomine was about to concede to this bizarre rhythm and perhaps he would move on eventually, naturally, without even realising it and they could go back to a less weird state and everything would be splendid...

 

His lazy acceptance as such shattered miserably and irritatingly on one fine day of February. He had not even realised what day it was if it wasn't for the various heart shaped chocolate boxes and flowers and all other kinds of corny shit that invaded the campus. He himself had not gotten any chocolates, though he believed it was mostly out of how most women and men alike were intimidated by him than him having no admirers; in fact, in the recent months he had realised not just women but a few young men to gaze at him longingly at times, now that his bisexuality was a known fact in campus. He did not mind admirers as long as they did not interfere with his everyday life.

 

In any case, Valentine's day had never been much of interest to him and had only ever induced mild annoyance, especially whenever he got strange love letters with poorly written poetry (or attempts at poetry) that likened him to chocolate. _How creative_. He expected his day to continue with that tone till it was time for practice and he met Kise for the first time that particular day, his arms full of various gifts and chocolates, many small gift bags dangling from his wrists. Their teammates attacked at the chocolates and the sweets but he glared at the innocent confections as though they were weapons of the enemy (which they were in a sense), his stomach not aroused but disgusted at the food, each gift wrapped box an eyesore.

 

He had never been a jealous person. Thus the jealousy that shamelessly claimed his mind and heart now, poking its poisonous claws so fiercely on his chest, was not only very alien but very disturbing. He did not know how to deal with it, especially so because it was so utterly irrational. It wasn't as if the beautiful model did not receive attention any other day.

 

Being a master of both real and fake indifference though, he hid his jealous anxieties perfectly well, rolling his eyes and making one or two sarcastic comments about the pathetic state of their team. If he played even more ferociously than normal and beat up everyone thoroughly, including Kise, at the expense of overexerting himself, nobody realised it; perhaps Kise did a little, for he kept giving inquisitive glances now and then but Aomine was sure (or rather hoped that he was sure) that his greedy and needy inner thoughts were not unveiled to the blond.

 

He would hope his day to end on that note, that nothing would go even worse but they did; just as he left the changing room to find Kise nowhere, one of his teammates informed him that Kise was behind the gym, wiggling eyebrows he also told how a particularly attractive lady had come and asked to speak with the blond, 'alone', behind the gym. Aomine felt as if he had just received a punch in the gut; it was stupid, really, it was. Kise was gay, “ _probably gayer than a rainbow_ ” as the blond himself had put it once after Aomine quite rudely and literally rubbed a picture of bare breasted women on his face, “ _I really don't feel anything for them... Aominecchi. It is just not for me._ ”

 

Therefore, it was not per se the possibility of Kise falling for this woman that betrayed his self-confidence and inflamed his insecurities; it was the fact that another person showed deep feelings for the blond and perhaps not this woman but Kise would one day (one of these days, considering how the blond was never single for long, in fact him being single in the last half year had been the longest) find a man who felt as such for him and he would reciprocate the feelings... And perhaps this time, it would not be a jerk but a happily-ever-after kind of relationship material and Aomine would be left to himself, to the position of the still half-admired half-rivalled ace and reliable best friend. 'The basketball buddy'. The thought gave him a sour taste and for the first time since New Year's, he realised that he was not okay with this strange state of theirs. He was not okay with letting it go naturally. Why had he not realised this before? Why was he always so oblivious? Always so laid back? Always so nonchalant?

 

He wanted to head home. He wanted to head home desperately yet his feet took him stealthily behind the gym and he peeked, a truly disgraceful act of voyeurism; he watched as the sweet girl's face took a pained expression when Kise spoke softly but apparently negatively in content. Aomine could not hear them, did not have to hear them, and while his heart joyed at the scene of Kise rejecting somebody else, it also sank for it reminded him of the way he himself was rejected. Had his face also showed such anguish? Had his lips also trembled? Had his eyes also looked so injured? He was sure his soul had been equally hurt, his chest equally tightened and suddenly he found himself feeling some kind of queer solidarity with this young woman whom he had hated and envied unnecessarily and irrationally just moments ago. She left a little after, her quick steps betraying her inner agony despite the sad smile she had tried to put on after Kise finished speaking, the blond looked after with a peculiar sadness in his eyes and Aomine realised that he was indeed sad; it wasn't a game, it wasn't a façade, Kise Ryouta was sensitive not only to his own feelings and to others' as well. This, Aomine had always commended, but perhaps due to the predicament he was in, perhaps due to his own frustrations, it only infuriated him at that moment; _why_ , he inquired in an internal tantrum, _does he not care about how I feel?_

 

Was it because Aomine did not show it so bluntly as the girl did? He thought he did, in his own way at least. It was when he was in such pitiful thoughts that he heard the surprised voice calling out to him,

 

“Aominecchi?!”

 

“Oi...”

 

“What are you doing? You couldn't be–“

 

“I was looking for you... Bad timing huh? Too bad, she was pretty too...”

 

“Don't joke like that. You know I cannot. I am gay.”

 

Aomine looked at him then and Kise's eyes turned a little wider, making the power forward wonder just what kind of a face he was making to elicit such a reaction from the blond,

 

“Aominecchi...”

 

“I ain't waiting for you more than 5 minutes... I'll miss my bus.”

 

“Sure... I– I mean, do you...”

 

“5 minutes. Come on.”

 

Kise nodded his head in partial confusion and hurried inside the gym to the locker rooms. It actually took him 7 minutes to come back but Aomine was lying about the whole 5 minute limit anyway, so he did not mind at all as they walked side by side, engulfed in an awkward silence. When they were out of the gates of the campus, about to separate to go in their diverging ways, Aomine paused for a second, his eyes looking away somewhere in the horizon thoughtfully, he mumbled,

 

“I don't think I could bear it...”

 

“Bear what?”

 

“Just being friends with you. If you found a guy. I think I wouldn't want to see you... at least for some time.”

 

“Aominecchi...”

 

“I am not saying it to make you pity me or anything. In fact if you do that I'll fuckin' headbutt you. It is just... We cannot go on like this forever, can we? Whatever. Never mind. Bye.”

 

A strong grip on his shoulder stopped him from moving in his direction to the bus stop though, when he turned to face Kise, thoroughly puzzled, he found the blond staring to the pavement, his long bangs hiding his eyes, his grip slowly eased as he started talking or rather mumbling,

 

“It is not as if... It is not that I take this... lightly you know.”

 

He sighed then fumbled with something in his bag, finally taking out a bar of what seemed to be expensive dark chocolate,

 

“I know you're not into milk chocolates or much sweet stuff, I am not either actually... I really like this though, so when I was buying some for myself to celebrate my own Valentine's day in a way – I do that every year... I couldn't help but buy one for you as well. Don't think too much about it.”

 

He pushed the chocolate to Aomine's hand clumsily and another sigh later lifted his gaze, a tinge of insecurity mingled with hope and uncertainty seeped from his eyes and it pricked Aomine's heart peculiarly, when Kise spoke his voice was calm and collected unlike the mumbling of a moment ago,

 

“I am actually thinking about it. These days I find myself thinking about it... Could you give me some time?”

 

“ _I could give you the time itself, any and all time,_ ” was what Aomine found himself thinking yet absolutely unable to pronounce so instead he grumbled a half dazed “Yeah, whatever...”

 

It was as if Kise could read his thoughts and the disparity between his feelings and what he said was somehow apparent to the blond, for he smiled and almost snickered, relieved and amused,

 

“See you tomorrow Aominecchi... Don't forget the Physio exam tomorrow.”

 

“Yeah... See ya...”

 

For the first time in years Aomine Daiki did not give the one chocolate he received on Valentine's day to Momoi for her to eat and when the said dear friend came by later that day, she found him contentedly silent... He even ate the chocolate Momoi gave him without any complaints despite the bad taste.

 

It was the first Valentine's day in Aomine Daiki's life that he actually kind of liked.

 

* * *

 

 

He failed at the Physio exam. It was all right though, he passed the others and that was enough to secure his position in the team, which was crucial considering the upcoming tournament they had in Spring right before the school's new term.

 

It was amazing how fast the time passed; he still remembered fully well the first day he met Kise by chance before a lecture. He still remembered how they eventually eased into their old rhythm back in Teikou, albeit with some major differences courtesy of the sweet and sour happenings of the times past in between as well as their changed, matured personalities. He lazily dribbled the ball, his eyes were focused on Kise instead, the blond had finally achieved the respect he deserved from the other regulars of the team as well as most of the second and third strings; he was showing a particularly tough move (which originally belonged to that Reo person from Rakuzan, if Aomine recalled correctly) to some teammates and they were regarding him with eyes full of awe and amazement.

 

Just after the moment ball went through and Kise flashed his bright smile and their teammates started cheering at the awesomeness of the whole thing, Aomine threw the ball he was playing with to Kise's back, which earned him a loud scream (it had not hurt that much, the blond simply adored being overtly dramatic like always) and a glare with a spectacular pout, which caused his heartbeat to race but he did not show; shrugging with indifference, he yelled, “if you are done showing off the goods you've stolen over the years, can we leave? You're supposed to treat me you know. Since you 'lost'. Twice. On one-on-one.”

 

It was not that he did not like Kise being accepted and appreciated, he liked it a lot for the blond deserved it; still, he had found in the recent weeks that he craved attention from the small forward, more and more and somehow no amount of adoration of his agility on the court during friendly matches or long hours spent together either studying during the exam time or fast-paced one-on-one's played now and then helped... Instead they seemed to increase his greed and insatiability towards the blond's attention even more and he found himself irked when he did not receive the said attention.

 

“ _You are like a five years old in terms of emotional expression. Like those stupid brats who pick on the ones they like. Do you know how annoying that is? Grow up. Or I swear to God that I will grow you up by force, you dumbass._ ” was what Momoi had declared sternly a few nights ago when Kise had sent her pictures of the various tiny bruises on his body, legacies of Aomine's nasty pinches, all due to an unexpected bout of rough-housing and spontaneous wrestling they had on the floor of the basketball court after a one-on-one in which the blond seemed to be in distant thoughts rather than paying proper attention to the game (or to him).

 

“You know, that is why everyone says you won't be chosen the captain next year...” Kise complained as he dripped the accompanied sauce to his chic ken salad, Aomine rose a brow,

 

“Who said I wanna be the captain anyway? Not like they'd choose a second year either.”

 

“Actually, everyone is saying it is going to be... either you or me, that is.”

 

“Really? Why I never heard of this?”

 

“Because you don't care? Why don't you care by the way...?”

 

“Do you really forget so easily how shitty they have been?”

 

“I am not saying this is the best team we had or that we have to be close friends with them. Plus there are some really cool people. Like that Asahi-senpai, the centre?”

 

“Hmm... he is okay I guess. I am just not interested...”

 

“In anything but basketball. I know. But you see, basketball _is_ a team sport. I thought you had gotten over this.”

 

Aomine sighed, fiercely taking a large bite out of his burger as if devouring it like a hungry beast would dissipate this frustration,

 

“It is not that I do not acknowledge its importance... It is just... I am not like you.”

 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

 

“Really?”

 

“I am seriously bewildered and puzzled.”

 

“Jeez... You are just a natural about it is what it is.”

 

“What do you mean? Natural about what?”

 

“I mean you're an idiot but a fuckin' responsible idiot. Sure, I play great and I have fun playing and I don't play as egotistically as I used but... it is just not possible for me. Okay?”

 

Kise gaped in silence, his fork securely holding a piece of grilled chicken and a single cherry tomato,

 

“You are joking.”

 

“Of course not! Why would I?! You are just so big on being a team and what not... Any team, as long as there is one that will take me and there will be always one to take me, because I am damn great at this game, I am fine with it. But you, no, you want to actually construct a team, the spirit and what not, all that shit...”

 

“So?”

 

“So, you would make... an okay captain I guess.”

 

“An 'okay' captain?”

 

“Fine. You would make a cool captain. Is that enough?”

 

“A 'cool' captain?”

 

“You would make a fuckin' amazing captain Kise Ryouta. Is that enough for you or what? You need me to write a goddamn ode or something?”

 

Kise burst out laughing dropping the single cherry tomato back to the plastic plate,

 

“Could you write one?”

 

“I don't know maybe...” Aomine smirked,

 

“No, you couldn't.”

 

“Don't bet with me. You remember what happened the last time with Kagami right?”

 

“I still can't believe that you scored those 3 pointers with your eyes closed.”

 

“Heh, why couldn't I?”

 

“Why would you? How could you? Those are more probable questions Aominecchi.”

 

Aomine shrugged indifferently though the smug grin on his face betrayed his emotions, Kise contentedly took a few bites of his salad then paused for a second between bites, when he spoke, he still had his smile but his eyes were a little uncertain and he tried to refrain from looking at Aomine directly:

 

“Do you really... mean that? Did you really mean?”

 

“Fine, I couldn't write a poem, blind 3 pointers is one thing, but poetry–“

 

Kise giggled, the insecure daze in his gaze fading a little,

 

“You know that's not what I meant...”

 

“You really have to hear it again don't you?”

 

“It kind of means a lot to me for you to be the one saying it...”

 

Aomine sighed and rubbed the leftover ketchup from his mouth, though he was not used to making statements as such, especially knowing their sentimental value when it came to Kise, he felt bravely honest, his eyes found their way to Kise's face and he stared, after a pause he started, in a tone crystal clear and calm that emphasised how low his voice was,

 

“I think you would make one badass captain. You would be meddlesome probably, always chasing me to attend practices more properly and what not. But overall, it would be cool. If I had to choose anybody in the team to be the captain, it would be you.”

 

Kise's gaze lifted up then and there was a profound surprise in his eyes which Aomine could not believe, because he could not believe that Kise ever thought it could be otherwise, that there was someone better to take on the role, someone more reliable, or someone more responsible, or someone more motivated...

 

“You're an idiot.”

 

“Ha?”

 

“To be so surprised. At this? Shit. Idiot.”

 

“Jeez... Aominecchi. You are rude even when you are complimenting.”

 

“Who said I was complimenting? I was just stating a fact. No compliments.”

 

“Hmm, is that so?”

 

“Yep.”

 

Kise giggled, his gaze softening into a tender, loving one, his hand reached for Aomine and upon the gesture, brown young man's breath hitches, Kise's fingertips came over his lips and a greedy instinct in him wanted to capture them in his mouth, suck onto them, bite them and he was not sure how and why he was being swayed so easily but he was. He controlled his instincts strictly though and Kise's fingertips brushed aside something on his lips, then his thumb rubbed over the edge of his lips, Kise moved his hand back then and licked his fingertips as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Aomine released the breath he was holding and he was not sure how his face looked but it must have looked particularly bedazzled that Kise gave his impish grin which he only did whenever he made people dumbfounded by his sheer allure.

 

“I'll go get another burger.” was his pathetic style of evasion then.

 

* * *

 

He had to admit that the first games were like a breeze but he was not allowed to ever take them lightly for Kise took them very seriously and threw a fit whenever he was even a tiny bit inclined not to; in fact he had to listen to a lecture on more than one occasion before and during the tournament. The blond's over-attention and care only strengthened his belief in him and disbelief at how Kise could overlook his own talent and greatness at times. There were times he wished he was better at motivating too, for he wanted to pump up Kise as well but it seemed the best he could do was to show up on time for practice or play one-on-one with him afterwards, still even being able to do this much relieved him a bit; it was better than nothing, better than being useless.

 

That – _that_ was the most bizarre. The feeling of uselessness when he was the top scorer of the team. The feeling of being overshadowed by Kise at times even when his performance surpassed the blond's. The feeling of being pulled around and motivated by Kise, not as a superior either but as an equal. The feeling of being respected fully and admired for his talent but not idolised childishly like the blond did before. They still bickered a lot and Kise still counted their respective contributions to the final score, often complaining at the end about though a victory was good for his to be a real victory he had to surpass Aomine as well and Aomine thought deep down in his mind, there were certain aspects in which Kise had surpassed him long ago...

 

He kept the knowledge to himself though, he was already pampering the blond enough with coming to the practices on time (that is if being at least 10 minutes every day counted as 'on time').

 

As the matches went on, their personal lives took the second seat and his meetings with Kise were spent more talking about basketball than themselves or the usual mindless chatter seasoned with childish bickering. It was interesting. It was new. Somehow, Kise would ask the most curious questions about the teams they played or were to play, he discussed the strategies with the current captain often and found ways to involve Aomine as well, asking for his opinions about a specific person's style or a certain gameplay idea. Not that the power forward was not used to this, they talked about such matters with Momoi for years, but it was unusual discussing such things with Kise. He could still remember the pretty boy who watched him in awe from the sidelines, the weakest of the Generation of Miracles who had initially seemed to be doomed to be the underdog forever. How things changed over time, how seeming the most immature amongst them, the one who thought the least (alongside Aomine probably) became so dutiful and all-around well developed...

 

Ultimately, they were qualified for the finals.

 

Ultimately, their opponents at the finals were their already well-known rival of Kagami, Kuroko, and Takao trio.

 

Takao's addition to the duo had been rather troublesome, he was a pretty good point guard and he had introduced better strategising into their team play as well. This did not mean that Aomine and Kise were not ready to face them, they had waited the whole year for that moment and they were keen on not wasting it. Most importantly, neither was underestimating the opponent, countless nights were spent with one-on-one's, many days of sweat and toil endured under heavy practice – it was all for this very moment, for their first true victory in their university career.

 

Kise kept playing with his fingers and even though he made the same sappy and irritating jokes that he always did, sported the same ridiculous pout that he always did, shone the same blindingly bright smile that he always did, his hands were trembling a little now and then and beyond the glint of confidence and enthusiasm, there was a note of anxiety that Aomine could read; perhaps only Aomine could, because he was the only one out of their current team who had seen Kise, known Kise, when Kise was not the Kise Ryouta he was today. When he was the underdog. When he was not the starter. When he was the weakest link. When he was the pupil who idolised him.

 

His arm fell around the blond's shoulder out of instinct and affection,

 

“Ready to pummel them?”

 

“Pummel? So rude Aominecchi... They are our friends.” Kise giggled regardless, Aomine's hand drifted down and his palm slowly rubbed Kise's back, a soothing movement that caused Kise to blink in haze for second, then a small slap on the back brought him awake and Aomine grinned,

 

“They are our rivals today. Tomorrow, we'll be friends again, after we beat them today. No pitying.”

 

“Oh but Aominecchi, I didn't even pity you, obviously I won't pity them... Even if it is Kurokocchi!” Kise chuckled, the previous hints of anxiety lost now, however a soft blush gracing his pale cheeks, he ran forward into the court, side by side with Aomine.

 

* * *

 

 

“Oi!”

 

When Kise lifted his head high enough, previously obscuring bangs finally slid back enough to reveal the honey eyes that were dazed with a mixture of fatigue, excitement, and euphoria. Aomine could not help smiling upon seeing the innocently awed expression on the blond's face, his hand reached forward,

 

“Come on.”

 

Kise looked at the hand for a second, blinked.

 

“Oi!”

 

He smiled and took the hand, wobbling a little as he stood up and Aomine wrapped his arm around his shoulder; the small forward mumbled something only partially audible about how irritating Aomine's seemingly endless stamina was, though the power forward himself was breathing harder than usual.

 

“Hmm... We won.”

 

“Yeah. Not that it is surprising.”

 

“Don't lie! You were seriously angry when we were suddenly four points behind at the beginning of the second half...”

 

“Of course I was mad, I never thought they'd pull such tricky play... We won though. That's all that matters.”

 

“Yeah. We won.”

 

Amber eyes glazed then suddenly and Aomine heard silent sniffs and sobs,

 

“Please don't tell me you're crying.”

 

“I'm not crying.”

 

“At least wait till we're at the lockers... Jeez... Why are you crying? We won. They should be the ones crying.”

 

“They are. Indeed, I think Midorimacchi may assassinate us tomorrow, he looked murderous when Takao started crying at the end of the game.”

 

“Well if he wanted to be not separated from Takao he should have just chosen the same uni...”

 

“You realise that he's a medical student at Todai right?”

 

“Basketball over Medicine, in my humble opinion.”

 

Kise burst out laughing and Aomine smirked as they finally entered the locker room, which was empty as they heard noises of their teammates from the corridor, seemed that they had been faster as the duo had taken their time both on the court after the game and then slowly walking to the lockers,

 

“You won by the way.”

 

“Won what?”

 

“You scored more than me today.”

 

“I did?”

 

“Yeah. Didn't you realise it?”

 

“No... I was so into the game... Wow. So I scored more than Aominecchi?”

 

“It's that final 3 pointer you managed that made it. All Midorima style too, he has every right to be freakin' mad. Shitty copy cat.”

 

“You really think that?”

 

“Huh?”

 

Suddenly – truthfully suddenly because Aomine had no idea how they came to be in that position – he found himself pinned to the lockers with Kise's body pounding on him and he could feel his teammate's breath over his face, just as warm as his.

 

“You really think I'm a shitty copy cat?”

 

Aomine blinked, utterly surprised and expectedly bewildered, then he grinned,

 

“Yes,” he mumbled and continued, “I think, you _are_ a shitty copy cat. A damned good one!”

 

Kise's eyes widened in surprise then he started giggling, the melodious sound embracing Aomine's auditory functions in a velvety delight and before he could continue admiring the view and the voice, he found his lips caught in a needy kiss. It was urgent and quick. Like a fervid dream, one minute there and gone in the next. Kise breathed hard afterwards nevertheless,

 

“You should come over tonight...” he mumbled,

 

“You know...” Aomine started, his heart beating as though he was still on the court, facing Kagami in a showdown, “If I come over, I will stay the night and then... I will want to come later too, and stay over too...”

 

Kise giggled as he separated their bodies and immediately Aomine felt cold, as if some wintry chill bit him despite the fact that his body was a mess of heat and sweat still,

 

“I think I would actually like that Aominecchi...”

 

“Is that so?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Cool.”

 

Kise burst into laughter again then and all the cackling that evening never seemed to bother Aomine at all,

 

“'Cool'? Really? That's how you're gonna go with this?”

 

Aomine furrowed his eyebrows and lifted himself up, turning his back to Kise, starting to change,

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Okay. Fine.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“Aominecchi?”

 

“What?”

 

“I love you.”

 

“Well, me too, I guess.”

 

Then for the first time in their whole life knowing each other, it was Aomine who received a basketball to the back of his head, and some devilish chuckling from Kise trailed behind the ball.

 


End file.
